Misremembering

Chapter 274

Misremembering

The more time I spend with my aging parent the more de ja vue I have about my past and present. I am reminded about why I did not follow said parent into the career that he had. I am reminded about why I did not enjoy working with him in the past. And I am reminded why I moved 7000 miles away and did something completely other.

Don’t get me wrong, he is a genius, and amazing and has forgotten more than I will ever learn about his particular field of expertise. He is also a tyrant and arrogant and impossible to please and never responsible for when anything goes wrong. That would always be my fault in some fashion. However he is also generous and relentless and selfless. “David how can he be all those things?” you ask? Aren’t we all?

Granted, my parent only remembers how generous he is and how kind he was to us as kids. Yes you are correct in that I did not list that as one of his characteristics, because I neither see that nor remember that about him - he is misremembering. I can give you 100’s of factual examples. But that is not the point, to prove that my memories are more factually and historically accurate than are his. Misremembering is something we all do. Its about how we see ourselves and how we view our role in lives of those around us. We choose to see (imagine?) our best qualities, and forget (deny?) our negatives ones.

While I may remember my history with him with precision clarity, I am pretty sure that I am misremembering my how my own past played out. I am confident I play the role of hero in my mental review of my past, and that it has little factual historical accuracy. Maybe misremembering is a skill we develop so that we can live with ourselves.