I was focused on the honeymoon

Chapter 272

Choosing to get married is easy, compared to the effort required to maintain that relationship over the years . . . any good large-scale decision ends with what Peter Gollwitzer calls an “ implementation intention” —a specific plan that will carry you forward - Art Markham

This is the strong effect of simple plans. It is the if x then y types of processes. I already do this in my morning routines and it has proved effective,  and honestly more and more effective (progressively better), these last 25 years. This works, and the person who begins any long term significant decision or commitment without thinking it through and planning a path to success is a fool, and likely doomed to failure on an epic unlearned scale.

But hey, almost all of us fail to do this well. The example I included from the quote above is a perfect illustration. Both man and woman spend all their time focused on the getting married part, the woman laser focused in on the ceremony and colors and flowers and guests, the man laser focused in on the honeymoon and married sex. Neither are focused on the relationship maintenance necessary for this marriage to bloom into a mutually satisfying relationship that endures for decades. I have never met a couple yet, that has a plan. Did you? Nah, me neither. I was focused on the honeymoon, et al.

I love this example because it is precisely the right instance where you and I can see the lack of results and the fallout of failing to have a plan. Yes we all got married and no many of you are not nearly as happy with that decision as you were the day you got married. You need, and needed a plan, a schematic of implementation intentions.

Get to it! Today is the first day of the rest of your life.