The religion of work

Chapter 173

“dependence on meaning and career spirituality” - Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

Time efficiency and FOMO and the whole idea that we MUST squeeze the maximum out of every second of our lives, has led us to some very bad ideas, some unsustainable ideas, and some confusing ideas. The topic today is one of those confusing ideas.

We reason that since we spend more time working than any other activity, then it is required to provide more than just resources for paying the bills. It is taking from us our largest chunk of time each day and so has to source something deep within us. Its the idea that we should, must, ought to get deep meaning from our vocations. We have elevated the ideal career to the spiritual levels of religion. We now expect our work to fulfill our souls, and to be a place where we express ourselves creatively and where we discover the capacities of our passions.

It seems apparent that everyone having a job that is meaningful and significant is rather impossible. As I sit here and think about this, it is difficult to imagine that 50% of the “jobs” in the world, would ever have a meaningful or significant element. They are necessary and important exchanges of time and effort for compensation, but doubtful that they will ever arrive anywhere on the meaningful and significance scale.

Obviously the economic engine that we choose to utilize, to fund our lives has many sides and aspects to it, and we should always choose carefully. But I can choose to do many meaningful and significant activities and roles, without work being one of them. Can’t I?

Hanging over a cliff

Chapter 172

"It's not how good you are, it's how good you want to be." ~ Paul Arden

Continuing the same theme from the last chapter, people who are satisfied with where they are in life, often don’t have goals nor objectives. They have arrived. They are already there. They think there is no where else to move up or forward. They are so wrong. 

They quickly find that the rest of the pack, catches up very quickly. I had a client who just refused to believe that anyone was ever going to catch him, much less surpass him. Needless to say, he is now a former client, and surprisingly, he is also jobless, aimless and loafing. Not sure there is a correlation, but the fact remains everyone caught up to him.

Tomorrow no one cares how good you were today. People who stop growing and developing are basically dead - either physically, or in your tracks, or in your progress. 

This is a concept I have practiced continuously in my life. In fact I have already left two amazing jobs and positions that I had created over the years, in order to go and do something more difficult, more challenging, beyond where I was on that day. Maybe this current position is one that I ride until retirement, because I certainly haven’t found the outside boundary of the challenge here. My learning curve is very steep! As yours should be.

How good do you want to be?? Its a great question. But don’t just ask it, take action on it. Yes this is risky. I felt that intensely as I left two perfect jobs for the unknown frontiers. But you will never feel more alive than when hanging over the cliff. 

Progress versus paralysis

Chapter 171

The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.”—Benjamin E. Mays

Goals. A point we are moving toward. Reaching toward a different present. An objective you are pursuing. A dream you are chasing. Seeking to achieve something new. These are ways to understand goals, but these are limited and certainly not exhaustive.

But the key point here is that they all have verbs of motion connected with them: moving, reaching, pushing, chasing, seeking, etc etc.. When working with clients, I don’t monitor whether or not they reach their goals, but I am always monitoring if they were making progress, having movement toward their goals and objectives.

You have to measure and track this. Remember the old adage, you do what you measure. I start each day with two measurement and tracking processes. I track and monitor certain actions and behaviors on coachme.com. And I have a whole list of things that I am tracking and measuring on an old fashion spreadsheet. I have tried a number of other methods, but they have always failed me in some way. A spreadsheet is not sexy, but it is very dependable.

So achieving goals is wonderful, but not nearly as moving toward them. Most people seem to be paralyzed. Some by analysis paralysis, others by overwhelm paralysis, others by laziness paralysis and the rest by whatever, but we need to get moving. And measuring will define what we are moving toward. The actual measurement tools can help you have goals!

And here you thought spreadsheets were boring.

Who writes your agenda?

Chapter 170

Who put this on your agenda? Seth Godin

People ask me what I think about the American political candidates? I don’t have an answer because I am not watching the American political game show. People ask me what I think about the Trump impeachment? I don’t have an answer because I haven’t been watching that particular circus either. Nor what is on Netflix nor what is the most popular tv show or movie or clothing fad. I am not allowing anyone to put those items on my agenda. You can if you want, but I personally don’t think you should.

Personally I think you should build a shield wall like Mt Everest against other people putting things on your agenda. And that will not be enough. Even for me. It happens just like this: here I am sitting here writing this blog about people not being allowed to put things on your agenda, and what does my wife do? She asks me if I read the text about our Labor Day Family reunion? I said, “no because I need to focus on this blog right now and I can deal with the logistics of the text later.” And then she proceeded to give me all the details of the text! See? She put that on my agenda, on the road of my mental bandwidth, even though I politely asked her not to. You need to find a way to lock down your agenda.

Instead do things that matter. Write. Create. Support. Encourage. Invest. Make. Do. Take action. Change the world. Make a difference with your ferocious intense focus on the significant and powerful.

Six flags over Jesus

Chapter 169

“Six flags over Jesus” - Brandon Crunkelton

This is a good description of the modern western church. Eastern church too. Maybe churches everywhere in the modern world.

For those who are uneducated in the Theme Parks of America, Six Flags is one of these, where you go to have fun all day, riding rides, watching shows, eating food, getting wet, and hanging out with friends. There is a parallel to modern church in each one of those.

But the bottom line is that Six Flags is a place for entertainment. Only. Its a fun place. No one has a bad day at Six Flags. Its a happy place. And for the fee you pay to get in, it had better be!

While church can have moments when it is fun like Six Flags, it’s fundamental purpose is different. And I can already feel your resistance to this rising, I get it. We have been in the modern church movement where we have worked for decades to make church more user friendly and more accessible for the communities that they are located in. We have made it nicer and friendlier and less objectionable. Or at least we think we have.

But in that process perhaps we have lost much of the substance? I am struggling to find any church anywhere, that I can hear a message that stays true to the point of the text, rather than drifting out into cultural hot topics and politics. It feels like we have the same sermon each week, regardless of the text. That is the exposition side of things. I think that the song writing in some circles has made spectacular progress in deep theological moving music and words, though none of that has reached the church world where I am currently staying.

And let’s be frank here, I could be totally wrong about all of this. The problem could just be me.

Emptying the ranks of the mediocre

Chapter 168

“In the information game, the race doesn’t go to the swift, it goes to the selective.” Tim Ferris

And perhaps I would argue that pretty much everything is an information game? What we feed ourselves emotionally, mentally, spiritually, intellectually and physically, comes home to roost, shows itself clearly as your strength or focus or capacity or expertise will eventually be evident as people observe your life. As you live your life.

The information game is one of endless possibility. And that is a negative, unless you are highly selective. In other words, its a black hole in space. Its a psychic prison that will never let you go. You can waste your entire life in this bottomless pit and never gain any traction. Many do exactly this, and they are forever relegated to the ranks of the mediocre.

This is precisely why you need to vigorously monitor and control what you watch (which should be almost nothing) and what you read (which is where the bulk of your time should be focused) and what you pay attention to. This is why I know little of what happens on the “national news” or twitter or facebook or instagram unless it comes through my RSS news feed aggregator. Take control of the information game. This nothing that I don’t know, does not inhibit me in any fashion whatsoever (except in perhaps general conversations at the water cooler and breakfast table), and in fact frees my mind, heart, soul to develop in powerful ways, rather than being a mental invalid that lives by the IV feed decided by others.

Fresh air!

Chapter 167

Last year was an epic year. I logged the most bicycle miles outside that I have ever logged in one year. It was a 6,551 mile year which exceeds my outside mileage even from the year I rode my bike across the USA in 2016. 

This year was the most mileage I ever rode in one year, but 2016 was the most varied terrain that I saw while riding simply because I cross the entire continent and 15 states to log those miles that year. But the beauty and the terrain is only part of the charm of riding outside.

The fresh air is the best part regardless of the terrain. But you also get to do battle the weather. I like it hot hot hot, but after a few hours in the saddle, I will admit that your bike shorts can be a lot like what I imagine wearing an adult diaper will be like. But to me that is a small trade off for being warm.

Cold weather is the bane of my existence on the bike. Since most of my riding takes place in mountainous places, the cold is not a problem going up, its a problem when you are going downhill. You have to carry extra clothes with you to compensate for that coming cold downhill ride. You need extra warm and extra dry clothes in order to arrive at home without damaging frostbite. Of course winter riding seems normal to people living in Holland, or the Scandinavian countries or Iceland or Greenland. 

But in spite of the cold, I got in a great year of riding outside. Now to figure out to accurately measure the efforts of all those indoor rides when it is pouring rain or snowing, etc etc.

The lonely twinkies

Chapter 166

“We are overfed and undernourished. Overstimulated, overscheduled, and lonely.”

So what are we putting in our bodies? Twinkies! Little Debbies! Donuts! Potato chips. These highly nutritious concoctions of chemicals that we call food, which likely have no actual food in them at all, are not giving anyone any nutrition at all. And surprisingly nutrition is actually the point of eating. But when we use the 1000 reasons for eating that we favor, other than the nourishment of our bodies, then we usually find ourselves overfed - belly full of non-nourishing stuff. So we are sated, but our bodies are still hungry for the vitamins and minerals we need. This paradox is killing us. 75% of the reasons we die are connected to this precise issue.

The second paradox is that we focus on entertainment and work to the exclusion of relationships. But we need relationships far more intensely than we need the overstimulation of movies and video games or the overscheduled overclocked lives of the working world climbing the corporate ladder. While of course we need to provide for ourselves and our families, and of course we need to disengage and relax occasionally, these have become our reason for living, rather than the relationships that feed our souls.

Why do we do this to ourselves? It is the path of water as Tao Lutz said, it follows the path of least resistance. It flows downhill. It seems, so do we. We live downhill, down the path of least resistance, down the easy path of the moment. This in turn, leads us to a life we don’t want. While it seems like the logical “easy” choice 10,000 times, the cumulative effect is ruining our lives and our bodies. We have to stop and chose better. Make a better choice. Live a better life, even if it is not the easiest.

Writing at 70 mph

Chapter 164

It may sound like from the previous chapter, like I am anti-technology, or anti-leisure, or some nonsense like that. That simply isn’t true. I am currently “writing“ this blog, while driving down the interstate at 70 miles an hour. And you should be pleased to know that I am not actually writing, but instead I am dictating to my phone, these thoughts, and my little computer writes them down on the screen. And saves them. So that I can edit them later.

I also just texted my daughter who is somewhere out in front of me on the same highway. Without ever touching the screen. She texted me her plans to stop at Chick-fil-A in Harrisonburg Virginia. I have no desire to stop at Chick-fil-A in any city, so I tapped on my earpiece twice, and sent her a reply. I informed her hands-free, that I had already stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts and got myself two extra large coffee’s. While I may need to stop in Harrisonburg Virginia to use the boys room, I do not want or need Chick-fil-A.

The fascinating thing about this, is that I can do my work all day long, and never actually touch the screen, instead directing all the actions that I desire with voice commands. So please understand that I am pro technology! I am just anti-use of technology for mindless blather. I am against just stupid non-cognitive time wasting.

If you’re going to use technology to be productive and accomplish something important, by all means go to it! Change the world! Matter! Do something incredible! Create something new! Solve a problem! Make this a better place for everyone! And if technology helps you do it then Gungho!

The theft of your life

Chapter 163

On the road again . . .

The barest hint of dawn can be seen to my left, since I am traveling south, and have been for the last 2 1/2 hours, and this endless road is showing me my fourth state this morning. And it’s not even daylight yet!

Over the course of this week I will have logged well over 30 hours of car travel on the interstates of the eastern United States. Lots of cold dangerous busy highways.

But there’s lots to be learned on these long trips, deep conversations with good friends, Long periods of silence where you can think and solve difficult problems. These are great things to do whether you’re in a car or sitting in your living room. We should do more of them. Often.

Instead, the temptation is to pick up a screen, or tune into Netflix. Americans, and maybe the whole world, seemingly waste their entire lives in front of the TV. Stop watching TV! Start thinking! Start reading!! Start doing something important! But by all means stop watching TV, or movies, or sitcoms, or YouTube, or Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram, or anything else you use to fill the boredom hours of your life.

Instead, Imagine. Create. Think. Accomplish. Make. Do.

The will to battle, the bravery to do so

Chapter 161

Fear and anger rob us of the treasure of the present. This makes us afraid as we discussed in the last chapter, and fear is something that is difficult to manage and mitigate. Moreover it is closely related to anger. When we are afraid, we are also often angry. Angry that we are afraid. Angry that there are things to be afraid of, and angry that we feel powerless in the face of this fear or this change or both. And if we don’t handle this well, we will also end up with shame added to the emotional burden we are already carrying.

There are many other reasons to experience fear and anger, but these most often are the emotions that steal all joy and pleasure from the present, whatever the reason for them. And they are not easy foes to vanquish. Regaining your feet and moving forward once again, demands a type of bravery that is in short supply. Bravery that will take action based on how you think rather than how you feel. Bravery that will take positive action even when the feelings of fear or anger remain. As someone said, courage is not the absence of fear, but action in spite of it.

Turning anger and fear into positive action rather than negative action, is the most significant choice we can make. And it is a rare choice. Children absolute cannot do this and few teenagers can. Adults can, but is seems like they most often choose not to. Fear and anger can seem like a tsunami and that you are powerless to redirection it, but this is not true.

If you have the power to feel this tremendous emotion, then you also have the power to send it in positive directions.

Now it is a matter of will . . . 

The changing world of change

Chapter 160

Change makes us afraid of what the new normal may be, and may demand of us. Who we are in the world is altered by each one of these changes, and this generates a great deal of grinding in our heads and in our hearts, because we don’t know how things work any longer. Because the status quo has changed, and consequently so does our relationship with all our status quo (s), which are the sum of our social structures and roles and our vocational constructs, which reflect the manner in which we interface with the world overall.

Change happens all the time though, albeit in smaller seemingly more manageable slices on a day to day basis. But when major changes are forced upon us in life, it feels very threatening. Major changes in health will rock your world. Major changes in your job will stress you out. Major changes in your relationships can cripple you. 

Resetting our inner sense of what is right in the world, to this new normal, is where all the mental and emotional negotiations take place. It is this internal struggle that defines the successful and those who struggle to regain their footing and continue to move forward.

Past performance does not insure present or future success at this endeavor. The change factor is always different and you and I are always different and the results can be something very other than what you have experienced before when dealing with major shifts in your world.

And your resilience ebbs and flows throughout your life, and you may have enough to see you through when major change drops down on you like a bomb, nor maybe not.

Keep your clarity about who you are and the tremors from the earthquake of change will be minimized.

The journey IS life

Chapter 159

To drive home the point of the last chapter, all puns intended, I spent 18 hours in a car over the last two days with one of the most important people in my life, and with whom I don’t get to spend nearly enough time. We live 5000 miles (literally) apart from one another, and so see each other not nearly enough. We decided on a whim to go look at and possibly purchase an antique car out in Ohio. The destination proved to be a bust, and we came back to our starting point without an antique car.

But isn’t that just like life, the goal the objective is often a fail, a miss, not nearly as nice as you were hoping it would be, and so if the journey to get there is also a fail then you have a triple fail on your hand. But if the journey to get there is as important as the objective maybe waiting at the end, then it is a win hands down. The journey IS life. What we want more of life, is that the drive to where we are heading is as equally important and impactful as the destination may be. We got to Ohio, and the car was not what we wanted in the end, but the drive there and back was epic - detours, deaths, accidents, snow, ice, boring long stretches of road, and critical conversations.

We explored the more of what we want in our lives, and how to see it more and more as we start the last third of our lives. These were not frivolous conversation pieces. First of all I had to convince my friend that we had another 30 years ahead of us, and then I had to convince him that they matter a great deal. 

The journey, the drive, is where life happens. Live it well.

What we want more of in life

Chapter 158

What do we want more of in life? That’s the question. It’s not accomplishments. It’s not popularity. It’s moments when we feel like we are enough. More presence. More clarity. More insight. More truth. More stillness. - Holiday

Like many other questions in this genre, this is a very difficult question, and more nuanced than the one I usually ask. Its not just what do you want, it’s what do you want more of in life. Think of it as a slide scale, instead of the destination, think about the journey and process and the trip you are taking. This is enjoying the drive, not just the resort you are planning to stay at for the weekend.

We want more of being enough. Of being in this moment completely. That is so challenging because there is so very much clamoring for your attention. And being in the moment is about attention to this moment, not another moment. This is presence.

And more clarity - the most cherished and powerful underrated superpower. Insight! These two combined make for an avalanche of possibilities and presence and powerful personhood, this is what we want more of in life. We want to matter more than ever. You already matter more than you know, but the existence of these elements will convince you, and give you confidence in all that you already are, not some vague person you will be in the future.

We want the drive to be as important as the destination, so we want this all now, not then. So we want to keep moving forward, at least 1% better all the time in the right direction, and we know that we will get there and be better for it.

Net worth

Chapter 157

What is your net worth to the world?

Benjamin Franklin is credited with saying that your net worth to the world is what remains when you bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. I am not so sure it has anything at all to do with habits. Perhaps it has to do with contributions and withdrawals.

This is a difficult matter to keep uppermost in your mind, because of our human obsession with ourselves, it is just so hard to think about the wider issues at play with any consistency. But while this is true, our net worth to the world may be the marker of our lives. That which shows all the ways we matter most. Or in the words of Earl, “All we really have is what we give away.”

So what is it that we give away? Our energy, our efforts, our expertise, our education, our treasure and our resources - in exchange for the world to be a better place for millions? But what is our definition of “better”. This is very pertinent, because in my 25 plus years of living abroad, I have seen Americans come and build buildings the locals neither can maintain nor need. I have seen American’s come and build programs and buildings, that are dismantled as soon as the American’s leave. Clearly there are many moments when American’s decide that something is “better” and the recipients of that “better”don’t think it is at all.

This is why I define my work as helping the highly accomplished flourish. Yes I decide who is highly accomplished - by their deeds and actions. But they decide what it means to flourish - or be better. I think my net worth to the world grows each time I successfully complete my work.

Calamity or contentment?

Chapter 156

The verse in The Daodejing:

“The greatest misfortune is to not know contentment. The word calamity is the desire to acquire. And so those who know the contentment of contentment are always content.”

Enough. Contentment. Satisfied. These are conditions rarely seen in people. Or at the least the people I know and usually meet around the world. They are driven and pushing and feel desperation and pressure, and a lack. Not enough. Unsatisfied. Insatiable. Driven to purchase more and more, bigger better, just more. They can’t sit quietly in a silent room for any length of time. They hop into their truck and have to go shopping. But mountains of stuff will never a content person make.

But the people I choose to spend my time with intentionally are those who knows these words. Have experienced these words. These people know that you can never do enough, it can’t be external. Enough is internal. It is properly understanding that you are already enough. If you don’t already get that, then more will never make you feel less than . . . whatever.

Restlessness and chasing after power position and possessions, will not make you matter more, regardless of what the world tells you. No matter what your culture or social circle tell you, the three P’s will not make you matter more. What makes you matter more is your experience and your relationships. The combination of these two make each of us irreplaceable and unique. You matter more than you believe.

Soul stunting

Chapter 155

Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest at all in the numbing of our souls. —EPICTETUS

Soul stunting is a favorite human pastime. Pleasure, entertainment and the pursuit of constant leisure is robbing our soul of life and depth, like robbing a plant of sunlight will stunt its potential completely. This gluttony of self is the opposite of what the soul yearns for and demands. Our souls were made for battle, challenge and life and death struggles.

Most people have such battles going on in their lives, but they usually shift the blame, responsibly and ownership to others. As I talk to other crotchety old men like myself, our favorite tune is “what she did” or “what she didn’t “ do. And let’s face it, our old wives are an ungrateful horde that never do what we wish, but they are not the problem. We are.

Instead of telling what our wives did or didn’t do, we need to be telling what we chose to do and how we took responsibility as much as can be taken, how we owned the challenge, how we choose to respond with grace and blessing for each injury they offer us. We need to un-numb our souls and live!

Honestly, complaining and whining sound much easier, and in truth are, but at the same time are far less satisfying. Living it, owning it, choosing to be 100% responsible for what occurs to me and mine is the path of the fully alive man. This is one who has a soul fully awake and engaged.

Enough

Chapter 154

In truth, enough is a beautiful thing. - Ryan Holiday

It is such a beautiful thing, and so rare. It often feels to me that everything in the West is a pursuit of more. No, I take that back, it feels that way in Europe and Asia too. I seem to meet very few people who understand enough. Who feel it, who get it, who experience it.

It is only now in my late 50’s that I am even getting to the point where that word has much power in my life. Oh my goodness. There are so many things I want to teach my younger self, and redirect my younger self to much better pursuits . . . than more. What I have squandered and wasted in the pursuit of more. Here let be clear, we are talking about the more of power, position, privilege, possessions.

There is another more, that we should be exploiting ruthlessly. That is the more of my character, more of my capacity, more of my influence, more of my change-the-world factor. That more should be cultivated and grown and fertilizer and harvested to the maximum.

We do ourselves and our Creator a great disservice when we settle for less on this front of trust and development. But for goodness sake, please destroy whatever power the pursuit of more stuff or status has over you. That is far too small a reward to spend the currency of your life upon.

Don’t pursue more.

Be more.

Live the biggest life possible as you serve the King and honor your potential.

That thinking muscle

Chapter 153

To have an impulse and to resist it, to sit with it and examine it, to let it pass by like a bad smell—this is how we develop spiritual strength. This is how we become who we want to be in this world. -  Holiday

I just sat through the latest Star Wars film yesterday with my grandson. Always an epic tale of good and evil, and the Emperor of the dark side lost once again. Because the good side of the force is ultimately stronger than the dark side? And why are they always trying to balance the force and the dark side?

Holiday is suggesting something quite revolutionary compared to the magic and power and light sabers of the movie - use your mind. Think damn you! Move this temptation from an overpowering urge and impulse to the category of something considered and rejected. Grow strong in thinking, not the force. Build that thinking muscle, build those successes over and over of making a solid choice, rather than being overpowered by your impulses. It is the definition of being an adult!

When you get here to this place, then you are at the place where you can become the person you want to be in this world. Your power will not be in The Force and whether it is strong in you or not little yoda, it will be because you chose to make a difference in the world. You engaged your mind, let that temptation pass like a bad smell, and took control of those things that are actually within your power to control. You are strong within yourself.

Enslaved

Chapter 152

A person enslaved to their urges is not free—whether they are a plumber or the president.  - Holiday

This is an apparent truth especially in a world where 200,000 people a year in the USA are killing themselves, intentionally or unintentionally, with opioids. Millions more are headed that direction. Your position, wealth, gender, skin color, vocation nor age makes a bit of difference when you are addicted to anything. Your urges that are not fully controlled, will control you instead. No matter what is driving these urges, good or bad, will lessen the impact this has on your freedom to choose.

This applies pretty much across the board I think. There is much being written for example, on the sober curious movement. Aimed at those who are exhausted from the impact that their too frequent drinking sessions are having on their lives, they are deciding en mass to experiment with staying sober or alcohol free all the time. I myself have not had a drink in 190 days, which has been great in almost every single way . . . but I am still astonished at the pull to drink again in certain situations, has on me.

We were just out for a late dinner with my daughter and son-in-law at a local pub two nights ago, and it was horrible, how badly I wanted to order a beer and have a drink. Its the idea of drinking that has so much pull. While I have pulled a 6 month stint at not drinking anything alcoholic, I haven’t yet discovered the next level of success - not having those urges at all.