When the data doesn't agree

Today is a day to make the most harden traveler flinch. One source of data is telling me that my final flight is canceled and that I won't reach my destination tonight, another source of data is telling me that all is well, and things will progress as scheduled. The implications to this day and to the work in multiple countries are heavy. I will lose far too much money and even more time, if the first source is correct. I will only suffering an amazing amount of stress and have heartburn for the next three days if the second source is correct.

When the data doesn't agree and throws your well planned and highly organized work structures into ambiguity hell, what do you do? 

Well first of all you have to keep moving toward the goal. Even though you are far less sure that you will get there now, and you have no real and viable contingency plans, you have to continue to take every possible step forward. Yes you have conflicting data, no you can't cancel the hotel room on the same day of scheduled arrival, yes you are gonna lose money, no you don't have a plan B. But maybe, just maybe the second source of data will actually play out. You simply cannot take the risk and stay home. That is not an option. Because if you do that, you WILL lose everything you have sunk up to this point, as well as the future results.

Second of all, you need to start spinning some mental alternatives to perhaps implement along the way. I know your options are limited. I know you already have tons of sunk cost into the product or project. But this is out of your control, you have conflicting data, you don't have nearly as much hope that things will work the way you had planned, as you did yesterday. Uncertainty is high, predictability is low, start spinning some mental alternatives.

Finally, go with the flow. Learn. Make the very best of all those unexpected bits of data and conflict and uncertainty and issues. What is being forced upon you can still bear some gifts especially if you set your attitude and mental framework in the right modes. Relax and enjoy the moments along the way, then you gain something valuableregardless. 

Air Conditioning wont cut it

After a long absence I am back in Asia. And it is hot. Really hot! And since I came here from a much cooler place, the sudden spike in temperature (think double overnight literally), the great temptation is to sit in the air conditioning all day and night. This is a deadly temptation, because who likes to sweat and sweat and sweat? I mean it is totally seriously three showers a day kind of hot.

Yet the only way to live, to experience, to BE in Asia is the stay in the heat. It is the only way you will acclimate to the temperatures. It is the only way that you will see the sights. It is the only way that you can taste the exotic dishes. It is the only way to truly enjoy Asia . . . you have to walk through the heat, sit in the heat, eat in the heat, work in the heat . . . and soon, most folks realize that their baseline temperature adjusts, as they become accustomed to hot hot hot. Hot is relative after all, to whatever you are comparing it to. (Note: I do use the AC at night, but lightly, mostly for the white noise, and at a much higher temp setting than most foreigners)

This has multiple life applications, regardless of the kind of work you produce and generally applies to most industries in my opinion - you gotta get out into the heat in order to understand your world - whatever your world may be. If you want to be doing something meaningful, you can't sit in your room or at the hotel or at the expensive restaurants that have air conditioning, because you cannot possibly experience what the real world is like in those places. Air conditioning won't cut it. Get a sweat on!

Shot!

I got shot today. There was no reason for it that I could discern, but nevertheless. At first I thought that something had fallen off the roof and banged hard against the post next to me. The second shot beaned the post a bit away from me. The third shot hit the glass next to me, then I knew for sure that someone was shooting, a BB gun or a slingshot perhaps, because the glass did not break, I knew it was not a pistol or something deadlier. 

So I immediately closed the computer, so that the screen would not get hit and broken, and at the same time started watching the neighboring building for the shooter, or some movement which would let me know, where to focus my attention. I never saw anyone ever, so that did not work. And the fourth shot hit the drain pipe behind me. The fifth shot hit me in the hand.

I am pleased I did not get it in the eye, and at that point it became clear that I was at a great disadvantage, not being able to find the shooter nor protect myself in any way, so being a prudent person, I left the balcony. Since I am scheduled to be here for another three weeks I am at loss about what to do . . . other than stay off the balcony, however that was one of the main selling points on choosing this place to stay.

There are multiple parallels in this story to life. We often get shot at, for no discernible reason, in unexpected places, which forces an intelligent person to alter their course of action. Then to not lose momentum or be forced to take actions that prevents you from reaching your goals, you have to mitigate the frustration, pain and discomfort of being forced off your original plan. It is in situations like this, that you can shine. You might even find a better alternative than your first path.

Trade off's

Life is filled with trade off's. Navigating these in a clear and wise manner is more difficult than you realize. I think it comes down to having clarity about the long term and the short term transactions, and that requires a perspective of the bigger picture of our lives than we acquire easily.

The worst trade off I ever made was in Russia 20 years ago, and it taught me a very important lesson about this subject that has helped me many many times over the years.

We had been in-country only about three or four months, when we took a required trip down South. Upon our returm at nearly midnight, with three very small children, none of the transportation that we had acclimated to, trams, buses and the like, were availible. We were under the impression (perspective) that we were too poor to afford a taxi. I am not joking. I am completely serious. Our leaders, who had drilled this perspective into us, disappeared without a word when we returned, you guessed it right, in a taxi. We waited in the cold and dark in a dangerous part of the city for over an hour before we caught the last tram of the day. With three babies. In Russia! Not one of my brighter moments in life, that is for sure. And not a memory I like to revisit, but it has served a great purpose in my life.

Yet I see churches and businesses and people do this all the time, with equal or great potential consequences, because they don't have clarity, they don't have perspective, to choose the right trade off. Clarity or perspective is worth 80 IQ points in my opinion, at least, and Alan Kay said it and I am agreeing with him. It is the most valuable gift I can give my clients, it is the most valuable commodity you can seek. It is a gift that only gives the best returns. Make certain you are choosing the right trade off. And if in doubt, get some outside perspective.

Memories?

There are always favorite memories about places you have been and things you have experienced. And often when you get back to those favorites, the renewed experience can often be . . . less than you remember. I have had this happen to me many times in five plus decades of life.

But I am getting better at accurately rendering what happened in one place or another and I have spend most of today, renewing favorite experiences. And so far I am batting a 1000! One technic I believe has helped me tremendously with this, is living in the moments better. I enjoy what is, without trying to make it be something else. About three years ago I started practicing this for a very particular reason, and that may become the topic of another post, but I can see now that it has helped me return to a place I was over one year ago, and successfully and fully navigate the memory experience conundrum.

You will find this to be a significant part of your skill set if you live anything like I do, in a suitcase more than anything else, moving from one client to the next, or from one country to the next, or from one problem to address to the next. May the memory, as you enjoy the moment, be with you. Sent to you from one of my favorite places, on a rooftop in Asia with a good cigar and a nice breeze on a 100 degree day.

hope against hope

Hope against hope

You know how it is when you are wishing for the unlikely, the very "lucky" or the unheard of, or the fanciful? That is hope against hope. The one I am wishing for today is no seat mates, to have some space to sleep and stretch out my legs a bit on the flight to Bangkok. Like I said unlikely. The numbers are simply against you, the odds don't lend it a likely probability.

It is not just stupid, this hope, that would be doing something like playing the lottery, or driving the wrong way on the interstate and expecting to avoid an accident. But in this case, it is "low season" in Asia, meaning that is not the time of year when most people are heading that way for a holiday (nor am I), and so I may have a better than usual hope.

In work and life though, this is a poor way to plan, strategize and execute. It is far better to bank on reality, what is, what can be reasonably expected, what the current norms are for culture, or business, or whatever field you are working in these days.

My clients who most consistently produce something valuable, something beautiful, something innovative, are those most willing to face the music of real opportunities, or at least willing to work hard and make those opportunities happen. Hope against hope, no seat mate today . . . excellent, but it was just a hope, not a reality that I shaped and designed and work toward diligently. I will still take it though!

Sometimes you have to go to the source

I am learning that sometimes you have to go to the source to get what you need. Habanero sauce in Macedonia for instance. There is a great sauce that we experienced at the local Mexican restaurant. But we haven't been able to find in the local grocery stores for about a year now. So on a free/open day like today I took the chance to return to that restaurant to see if they were still serving it and to ask them where they get it. 

We don't particularly like this restaurant because 1. The music is too loud, 2. The food is expensive and 3. Marginal taste as a general rule though my wife feels this much more strongly than do I. But compared to the other excellent restaurants and dives we have available to us, it does have some shortcomings in this particular market. Through I would argue that they also have one overwhelming strength- that they serve food unlike all the others at our disposal.

So when you want something really different from the regular fare available, this is a viable option. However I digress from my primary point. So I came here today because Brenda is out of town (so I am eating alone) and because we are almost completely out of Habanero sauce at home :-). Bingo!! Boom!! Good pork chops and you can purchase the Habanero sauce right here - in fact ONLY here.

Sometimes you have to go to the source to get what you are looking for. I would say that is true concerning Habanero sauce in Eastern Europe as well as: 1. The Truth of a matter in your personal life  2. The understanding of the nuances of a situation. (What is apparent rarely is) 3. The tools you need to lead many situations and 4. Spiritual direction.

Future-thinking 2

To continue along the lines of the previous post, Marshall Goldsmith blogged about some elements of future-thinking and what he called "forecasting" the environment that we live in, grew up in, and are surrounded by, that influence what we can and cannot change.

This is directly related to future-thinking. You will see the elements line up pretty well. His first encouragement is to . . . 

Anticipate, which is basically my entire last post about this subject. He argues that good leaders and good business folks are all about Anticipating, future-thinking, seeing around the corners before they get here, you follow the drift, in order to . . . 

Avoid. He quotes Drucker, and I am going to quote him quoting Drucker, "Half the leaders I have met don't need to learn what to do.  They need to learn what to stop." Honestly I spend 65% of my time working with clients on this point alone. It seems that far too many of us have drank the kool-aid and believe that we must say yes to every challenge and problem that comes along in order to prove how valuable and irreplaceable we are to the world (and perhaps to ourselves?). This results in the majority of us being bogged down in very good things, while never having the discernment nor margin to do the great things, and accomplish the powerfully significant for the world, for humanity, for God. Stop your delusional belief that you can do it all. No one can. No one ever has. No one ever will. Let this empower you to . . . 

Adjust. Adjust your expectations. Adjust your assessment of your capacity. Adjust your will and talent and skills to the very essential stuff. You get the idea. Adjustments happens most timely and easily when we are focused and forecasting our situation and environment. The entire point of future-thinking in my opinion to to be ready, able and willing to make the adjustments that invariably come along, and will derail us if we aren't prepared.

Future thinking

Yes I had to change locations in order to be inspired enough and to have some mental space in my brain to write this blog. I have strongly advocated such changes in environment to get your creative juices flowing on this blog many times in the past. Today I had to take my own advice.

Because I am visiting the parentals, and one of them is a different person each time they wake up from a nap, and they take several dozens of naps throughout the day! The happy contented person who fell sleep 20 minutes ago, wakes up a sullen unhappy person . . . who falls asleep and then wakes up a completely incapable person who struggles to find the bathroom in the very small house they have lived in for the last 52 years. And no, we did not change the location of the bathroom. This is life with a parent struggling with Alzheimer's and dementia. At least this is how it expresses itself most days. There is no possible way to predict what the next nap will hold for all of us - those of us caring for the comfort and well-being of the said person.

It strikes me that this is also a challenge with future-certainty in any subject. The one topic most people seek my advice on is "what will the future be like, if I make this change or that change in my work or parent group?" I, of course, can give a general trends kind of answer to such a question, but there are no guarantees at all, because of the multiplicity of factors that will effect that precise outcome in the future. And trust me, the factors are far more dependable and predictable in vocational fields than they are in Alzheimers patient's naps results! Yet precise and bankable predictions about where you will end up from the decision you are making today, five years down the road, are frankly impossible.

Future-envisioning is still an important practice though, because if you don't do it with some diligence, you likely will not recognize the factors that ARE within your power to choose, when they come along. As the parentals grow older, more challenged, more in need of my regular appearance and assistance, the more I need to future-envision how I can work and live effectively, while providing the ever-increasing more that they need from me. If you are trying to answer a similarly quandary, the answers you come up will vary from mine, because of the health issues your love ones face, the flexibility of your job/vocation, the resources available, and your location in the world relative to them . . . and at least a dozen other factors that I haven't even future-envisioned yet . . . probably.

But to construct a life-work balance that meets your needs today and tomorrow requires some diligent thinking and inspiration in order to mitigate the risks and maximize the rewards for all stakeholders. 

Advice? Take a long walk, or ride your motorcycle down to the coffee shop, or some other change in environment in the regular course of the day, and think think think, and then think some more. I am confident you will be pleased with the progress you make. 

I gotta finish my coffee now, and do some more thinking . . ..

10 things I learned on this trip

It has been a very concentrated time of travel and learning and people intense weeks as I have been reconnecting with some partners across the USA. Always being "on" is very very draining, yet I feel more energized and energetic than I have in decades! Yes that is a paradox.

A number of these connections and relationships are great for my soul and encourage me very much. A few of them are very draining and exhausting, yet I am learning new ways to mitigate and negate their effects on me. Every time I make a trip, I feel like I learn more and more. This one was no different on that front.

What I learned this time in the States:

1. There is always someone nearby who is smarter than I am and that I can learn from!

2. There is a hunger in most folks to move forward with their lives and to make progress, and they are highly attracted to people who can help them do that.

3. The more you can uncomplicate the complicated for them, the more they are going to pay attention to what you have to say.

4. You better have something of substance to say!

5. Cherish the moments when you can sit on the patio (and not freeze!) and have a cigar!

6. It is never too late in life to make a new friend.

7. People learn faster when they are laughing.

8. Most people want you to make all the application for them and draw all the lines that connect all the dots. Don't.

9. Don't because it robs them of understanding themselves, and diminishes their personal commitment and follow-through to their own success.

10. Stop (or at least slow down enough) to enjoy the beauty along the journey, both the relational ones and the natural ones. Snow in Vermont, warm and wet in Florida, warm and dry and early Spring in California! Priceless!

Unlit candles

Michael Josephson said, "I’ve learned that unless I translate my thoughts into actions, my great ideas and good intentions are like unlit candles." Manchester wrote about Winston Churchill  that he understood that victory could only be won "by the vigorous exercise of his imagination and the imposition of his will by the only means he knew — action, action this day, action every day."

Too many of our good ideas remain just that - ideas. In our crazy modern world we have elevated the "idea" to accomplishment status. In other words, as if the idea itself was a product of value, or of equal work and effort as the end product that actually brings beauty or value to the world.

I too can fall into such a trap where I feel that the idea or the intention was equal or on par with actions, but that is simply not true. They are only unlit candles. More steps are required before I can have any real sense of satisfaction that I have actually produced something innovative or useful. One of the ways that I restrain this tendency to elevate intentions and ideas to the level of actual essential work, is that I ask myself every day, "What value am I providing my clients?" It is a brutal reminder that what I do - action - is the only measurement that carries weight.

Tenacity

Tenacity. What a word. It is the unsung hero of almost every success story in my whole life. I think this is true for most people that I know across the world as well. Oh there are some talented blokes out there, and great idea people, and high energy dudes, and amazing lasses who can and do lead entire countries (ala Merkel). But these people are the very first ones that will describe for you how consistently tenacity is part and parcel of their everyday lives.

As Michael Josephson said in his recent blog "tenacity is more important to success than talent." And ain't that the truth! Most people have talent, don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that people don't have some amazing talent. But relatively few can commercialize those talents. Most of us have talents that don't ever even cross over into our vocations. Many of us BECOME talented at our vocations precisely because we are tenacious about learning and working hard at it, and finding joy in the process.

I have always been quite put off by people lauding my TALENTS when in fact nothing more than shear hard effort over long periods of time = tenacity, brought about the seemingly effortless product you observed today. My dad was fond of saying and rightly so, that "the easier a person makes the job look, the higher Master he or she is" in whatever field of expertise you are observing. When people ask me to describe myself, and when I trust them enough to be honest, I am a beaver in life . . . gnawing on that tree until it falls down. Tenacity has been far more important in my successes than talent, what about you?

Getting there

On the final leg home after almost seven weeks on the road. Cannot tell you how good the thought of sleeping in my own bed sounds right now. I have an amazing job and I get to do the most interesting work in the world, but the "traveling" part of traveling is waxing very old. Oh I still really enjoy being with new people in new places and experiencing new food and sights and smells and views, but the getting there is usually tough and sometimes very exhausting.

There is a lesson to be learned here as well because traveling is a great metaphor for leadership and development. The getting there is always challenging and fraught with difficulties and things you just would really rather not have to go through. But the destination is almost always worth it. So how do you in your life mitigate or manage the unpleasantness or difficulties or challenges facing you as you move toward your next destination?

Frustrating speakers

There are so many intangibles to effective communication. Even with good coaching I find most public speakers, especially in the church, amazingly frustrating. The number one mistake they make is no cohesiveness from idea to idea. Oh the transition exists in their minds for sure, or they would not have said what they said, but they fail to bring the hearer along with them and connect the dots so to speak, in a way that their points or point is compelling.  More and more it seems that preachers (especially) and speakers that I hear, draw seemingly random points of "proof" or what I refer to as proof texting within the church, to make their argument. What they do in actuality is leave us listeners sitting there with our minds wandering toward our to-do lists or verging off into dazed daydreaming.

They fail to sharpen their communication skills as a tool of choice. They attempt to use blunt force trauma or the charisma of personality to win our minds and that simply is an impossible venture. To win the mind, and eventually the heart, we communicators need weapons-grade skills and honing of the craft of excellent communication. Isn't the message that you are striving to communicate worthy of that effort and refinement? At the very least, respect the content of the message and me as the audience enough to not waste my time.

I love Berlin!

I love Berlin! It is one of my favorite cities in the world, hands down. I would move here in a heartbeat would my sweet wife agree. Alas, that won't happen in this lifetime. Fortunately for me I get to come here often and work and I completely enjoy each one of these visits.  The ease of getting around the city, the clean air, the excellent food and the structuredness of it all makes for a wonderful experience. 

Of course all of those pluses would be for naught were there not excellent work to be accomplished here as well. In fact one of my clients here was brainstorming ways to work more in Berlin! A conversation I throughly enjoyed. Unfortunately I can't be here more than I currently am and that is that. But the people and work and connections I get to enjoy and engage in are as refreshing as the air coming in overland from the North Sea

Christmas gift giving? Gorging in America

I had the unusual opportunity to observe/be present for another family's gift giving process/event. The sheer volume/amount/number of gifts was amazing. Breathtaking. Mind-numbing. Overwhelming. Beyond the ability to be thankful for in any meaningful way. They had a lot of fun in a gorging overeating sort of way. But the mountain of gifts were quickly opened and everyone had their pile of stuff. And I sit here trying to determine if anyone is any happier for it? 

There is no judgment in my assessment, because my clan is going to do something very similar a week from today when we can finally all get under the same roof (today, the actual 25th of December, finds us in three different states). Not only are we going to do the same thing, but my clan loves it! But last year I refused. I gave no gifts. And I liked THAT much better. I want a house full of laughter and good smells, more than stuff, far more than stuff!

But while we have broken free from the slavery of the 25th of December, we have not broken free of the bondage of excess. My favorite book this year is "Essentialism: the diligent pursuit of less but better." and I need to find a way to help the whole family shift to this way of thinking! But now we are shifting from excess of gifts to an excess of food- it's dinner time! And this may be worse than gorging on gifts.

Spaces

There are some great and unusual working spaces in the course of my everyday life that perhaps others don't get to explore. But I think that almost everyone I meet has some kind of unique possibilities, if they would only give it some keen thought and consideration. Mine is airplanes. Enforced sitting for long periods of time, lends itself to sharp periods of boredom unless I have some "work" to think through and engage mentally and "do". I can play a few games and I can watch a hockey game, but that is about the extent of my capacity for lite weight amusement, and then I find my mind hungry for something meatier to bite into. So my special little space in life is airplanes. I often delay certain kinds of work and projects for upcoming flights, simply because they are perfect for the cramped, can't really get up and move around kinds of time stretches, that air travel generally forces on us. So what space is within your grasp that you could shape or use to dig in deep on some thorny problem, some deep challenge, or get some necessary-but-less-than-sexy work accomplished? I bet you can do this, and make a pointless dead spot turn productive. Pulling for your success.

(I also work and play hard at making this dead spot in life a productive place. I am always testing and trying new tools, hardware and software, to make this more productive and more interesting. For this blog today I was using an iphone 6 plus in landscape, typing on an iwerkz bluetooth keyboard, and on the software/app side of things, I used Drafts.)

I love Christmas!

I love Christmas! Of course I love the fact that it is Advent and that without Christ come in the flesh we have nothing. We are nothing without that monumental event.

But I love just regular old pagan Western Christmas too. I love the way gift giving sharpens our focus and attention on those we care deeply about, actually enhancing that care considerably. I love the highly repetitious annual Christmas songs every store plays. I love the energy with which things are happening. I love the crowds of people and I love the atmosphere and energy.

Most people think I am crazy, but I love Christmas and try to reproduce many of those elements in the teams I work with and the people I lead. In fact Christmas personifies the energy and attitude that I feel most days while working! Now you are certain I am crazy :-). That is ok, I know most people don't like their work, but I do.  I get to work with interesting people and fascinating situations all the time. And if you think I like my work, then you should meet my wife. She would pay them money to get to do her job!

So yes I love Christmas and think every day should be Christmas, and thankfully most days are close.

a 300 pound manual

It's late in the afternoon. My dad is sitting there, with a 300 pound car manual in front of him, meticulously and carefully detailing all the intricacies of gasoline motors. He is looking for minuscule and microscopic information about why his lifters are "rattling" in his newly rebuilt 289 hot rod engine. Reading is a big chore for my dad. The reason is, that when he completed the eighth grade, that was the last year he went to any kind of formal school. He is a slow reader. And it's just like it digging a ditch for him – hard manual labor.

The point being here, is that my 74-year-old father, even though it's not easy or fun, continues to dig in and learn. There is a great lesson therein for all of us. You are neither too old, nor to handicapped, ever, to learn. Even though he only has an eighth-grade education, the reality is he has the mind of an engineer, and always has. You can see it by his creations, a solid dozen of them over the last 25 years, All from scratch, all from nothing-rusty-holes in a bucket of bolts, into beautiful shiny amazing hot rods that are highly desirable and in high demand.

Thus the second lesson to be learned, that you can't really create something beautiful and amazing, unless you're willing to learn, sharpen, retool, reach beyond where you are today. You can't innovate, build, develop something beautiful and desirable and needed and wanted, unless you are willing to dig in deep and always be humble and always be learning.

And even though I have my doctorate (in large part also due to dad), I find myself at almost 53 years of age learning more than I ever learned at any point in my entire life. And even though doctoral students often joke that they know more and more about less and less, (and there is some truth to that), it's a great stage of life to be where I'm at today was such a good model in front of me, urging me on to learn more and more every day.

Cafe-bar change up!

There are many "offices" available in the modern Western world, and some of them can even provide a high energy atmosphere or ambience for work, to help you be more creative, innovative or simply a great change of pace from your normal space.

Space/environment is critical to producing certain types of work. Sometimes I need I NEED quiet and intense focus. For a particular kind of "flow" or "zone" to occur, I usually need this quiet and focus (sans distractions) to get into a great flow or to resolve a particularly thorny problem or to crush a difficult task. Other times, I like the energy and liveliness of a cafe bar to enable my brain to make unusual connections or jumps that don't usually happen in the low distraction of my office setup.

Sometimes simply people-watching is enough to get my creative juices pumping and flowing, imagining their lives and their situations and their dramas. Life is the difficult pieces that are hard and less than ideal, whereas the easy and fun stuff is more like just the icing on a tasty cake for me. The texture and challenge of the tougher parts is what makes life living and enjoyable. Without the challenging we quickly fall into boredom and less than interesting. A problem free life is nothing that anyone ever has, first of all, nor would it be very interesting second of all.

Of course solving problems for myself helps me solve problems that others are facing. The beauty of age is that I have had the opportunity to do my fair share of problem solving. It is called experience and it is almost always negative in some fashion. How we approach it and perceive it determines if the negative rules or is merely a portion of the overall experience. Changing our working space regularly is a good reminder and helper in realizing that one reality is not the only reality. While I don't want to work every night in the cafe-bar, tonight it is a good time to realize that there is a whole big wide world of difference out there, and every problem can be view/resolved from an almost infinite number of ways and possibilities @ Play Cafe Skopje